Create Attraction, Connection & Overcome Insecurity - Part 2 of 3

Marketing Secrets - Podcast (Russell Brunson - FunnelHackerTV)

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On this episode you will hear part 2 of a presentation given by Sean Stephenson at Funnel Hacking Live in 2016. Here are some of the awesome things in today’s episode:

  • Find out what Sean believes the cure to insecurity is and how he came to that conclusion.
  • Find out why the motto of the coast guard helps Sean decide who he is going to help.
  • And find out Sean’s answer to the question, “How many lives do you think you’ve changed?”

So listen here to the second part of Sean Stephenson’s inspirational presentation at Funnel Hacking Live 2016.

—Transcript—

Hey everyone, this is Russell Brunson. Welcome back to the Marketing Secrets podcast. Right now you’re listening to episode 2 of 3 from the Sean Stephenson presentation of Funnel Hacking Live.

So I’m going to tell you a lot of woo woo stuff. And I really don’t care if you believe me. I really don’t care if you come up to me afterwards and you’re like, “Can you please present your data on that?” Go screw yourself, okay. Because I got the data right here, it’s that I’m still alive. It’s that I’ve seen what I’ve seen and I’ve done what I’ve done. And I used to be afraid to tell people what I’ve done because I had a fear that a very loving woman, my mother, thought was a good fear to have, which is, “Never, ever, ever have them think that you’re being arrogant, Sean.” And man, she banged that in so clear to me. And I thank her for it. But one day I had to let go of my mom’s fear of people thinking I’m arrogant.

Because if people think I’m arrogant, what that is, is them fearing telling their truths. Because I believe what arrogance really is, is feeling that I need to take something away from you to become bigger myself. Are you kidding me? I don’t want any of your stuff. I don’t. I want me, I’m doing a lot of work on myself these days. I’m at journal reflection at 5 in the morning, writing out, what are my remaining insecurities? Where am I still playing small? Where am I leaving love on the table?

And it hurts to be conscience. It hurts to not live in that bubble of, “Oh, it’s the governments fault. It’s my mother’s fault. It’s my wife’s fault. It’s this person’s fault. It’s that person’s. The reason why I’m this, is because I was molested when I was young. This happened when I was nine, this happened when I was six.” Whenever we lie to ourselves like that, we leave love on the table for the entire human race.

Whenever you lie to yourself that something outside of you is stopping you from living the life you always wanted to have, you’re screwed. There’s no way I could do what I am doing in this moment if I didn’t get out of my way. And that’s day after day after day of journaling and saying, “Where are you full of shit, Sean? Where are you still holding back, Sean? Where are you scared, Sean?” And just going for it and leaning in. And that abundance, abundance, what I really believe abundance is, is giving everything because you know, you take nothing with you.

You take nothing with you, you only get to give. When I have been close to death, when I have had people say, “You’re going to die tonight.” Do you know how much clarity that brought me? That’s where you’re hearing this conviction. It made me realize that everything is bullshit except for love. Love is the only real thing on this planet. Everything is a concocted story outside of that, of your ego.

And I want to help you become a world thought leader. And here’s what it comes down to. When you align with a message, you have to let go of how many people you reach. How many people have ever made a video on YouTube or Facebook and it only had like 10-30-100 views and you kind of were pissed. Be honest. Be honest! Raise your fucking hands. Yeah, welcome to being a marketer.

“Oh, I wish I had more visibility.” Let’s just give you a paradigm shift, shall we. Take any time that you look at your YouTube counts of video counts, imagine instead of, “Oh, there’s so few people.” I want you to think if that many people died in a plane crash that day. And when you say to yourself, “Oh, I wish there were more people in that plane crash.” No! You would be crushed to see the news, if you have any soul left, you would be crushed to see, “15 people today, 15 children today were killed in a school shooting.”

So that’s a number that you’re like, “Oh, 15! Oh No.” but over here 15 is like, “Oh, only 15?” Well, these 15 souls needed what you just sent. It’s only your arrogance that thinks it needs to be 120 million. It’s only your desire to be seen as a leader and a guru and an authority on this planet that cares what that number is. I know because I’m working through that evolution in my journaling in the morning.

When I finally was at my edge, I was talking to my coach one morning and I was sobbing. And she’s like, “You need to lean in more on this human race, Sean. You say you were born for a purpose. What is that purpose again, Sean?” I said, “To rid the world of insecurity.” And she said, “Then you’re going to rid it from yourself, completely. You need to show the human race what a human being looks like when it’s no longer insecure.” And that’s hard because I’m still human.

I want to share with you what I believe is the cure to insecurity. But the thing is you gotta take the cure every day. It’s not something you take it once and then you’re good. It’s a medicine that has to be ingested every single day. Pull out your pens please.

So let’s define what insecurity is. Insecurity is the feeling that you’re not enough. I’m not enough. I’m not tall enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not rich enough. I’m not enough. Raise your hand if you ever feel not enough. It should be everybody. By the way Russell, I really kind of like the R2D2 camera. That’s kind of cool. I like it. AZ team is funny.

Why did I make you laugh there? Because I needed to cut the tension there for a second, it was too intense for me in the moment. That’s the only reason why we ever laugh, is to cut the tension. And it’s okay to cut the tension. I believe we laugh, laughter is just to ease up the ego. It’s just to loosen the ego so that we can actually enjoy more. You love to laugh because it releases anti-inflammatories into your body. You love to laugh because it exercises muscles. You love to laugh because it releases serotonin into your brain. You love to laugh because you’re hard wired to hear yourself through laughter.

So when I’m thinking about this intensity of what causes insecurity, and what is the cure to insecurity? I realize that I’m talking about something huge, like Louis Pasteur huge. You know polio was knocking people out left and right back in the day. People were getting crippled up, and I hate that word, but they were crippled up and people were dying and it was such an intense thing, that the whole world wondered if polio was going to wipe off the human race. And Louis Pasteur said, “I bet we can get rid of this.”

Do you think people were like, “Yeah Louis, go for it. We’re going to make a Clickfunnel about it, and….” No, no they didn’t. I guarantee you he got opposition. You know what, he got opposition, “Oh that’s stupid, no. Look at how many people it’s already killed.” You know why fear works? Fear works because it hosts on the facts of our mind. Fear hosts on the facts so it goes, “Fact-you only have this much money in your accounts.” “Fact-you had this many marriages.” “Fact-You’re only this tall.” “Fact-You weigh this much.” “Fact, fact, fact, fact.” And fear and insecurity hang out together and they’re like, “Man, we got all the facts. And they are our bitch, we got them. We got them.”

But there’s something better than fear and that’s intuition. And intuition comes from your heart. My amazing wife, Bindy can do this, she has a program she does once a year and I love going to it because she talks about how you gotta drop down out of your head and into your heart and find why were you born.

No offense Russell, but we all agree that you weren’t born to sell potato gun DVDs. You weren’t, and you know that because you’ve evolved. You’re playing a bigger game now. And I believe you and all of you are going to help me play a bigger game. We need to rid this world of insecurity and I cannot do it alone. There was a period of a few years I thought, “I’m going to do it as a speaker, an author, a motivator.” No, because I kept getting into experiences where I was coming to my last breath and I thought, I’m not going to get it done. And that’s when I realized I needed an army.

And not an army to wage a battle or war, because that’s based on territory and anger. No, we need a tsunami of love. We need this to be like an ocean that just keeps going and going and going and spreads all around the world. I mean, 120 million people were able to reach that video of me holding those sticky note cards on how much I love them. That tells me that the human race is craving love more than ever.

And the way that we cure ourselves of insecurity, I figured it out about four years ago. I will have these moments where I’ll get stirred at four or five in the morning with an idea. Raise your hand if you ever get woken up with an idea. And like, you know, you’re kind of like excited but pissed. You’re excited because the idea is brilliant and awesome, but you’re pissed because you’re like, “It’s four in the morning. And I have to get my sleep because I went to bed at two in the morning.”

So it’s four in the morning, I was stirred out of bed, everybody in the house was asleep, I hopped into my wheelchair, threw on some clothes, went out the front door quietly. And at the time I was living in this home in the middle of the desert on a mountain, and the sun was still down. And I was wheeling through our neighborhood, right down the center…we have…when we were living there, like a cul de sac type area where it was a gated community so cars weren’t always like driving on the street. It was pretty quiet.

So I’m wheeling right up the middle of the road and there’s this point where the gradient of the road just gets steeper and steeper. And I’m like, why am I woken up at four in the morning, what am I doing? And I’m wheeling and I’m like, what, I don’t understand. And I get to the top of this little hill and I see the sun come up from behind the mountains. I hear this little whisper voice in this area, right in the heart area, because I had been saying for years that I was going to rid the world of insecurity but I didn’t know how until that day.

I hear this little whisper go, “The cure to insecurity, the cure to insecurity is self care.” The cure to insecurity is self care. I take care of myself, I’m still insecure. I don’t agree. No, it’s not that. Then I hear it again, “The cure to insecurity is self care.” And all the sudden these pictures in my mind were just racing like, when you take care of your mind, your body and your spirit, when you take care of yourself, when you keep your commitments to yourself, when you develop your self-trust, when you develop your self-love, when you develop your self-motivation, then there’s no need for insecurity.

And it just started flooding me. I’m like, “That’s it, that’s it!” And I just start racing, now I went up the hill so now I have momentum, so I’m just whipping down this hill, “Yeah, it’s insecurity!” How many people have seen It’s A Wonderful Life? Right, you know that scene where he realizes he gets to live and he’s like racing down, “Ah, Merry Christmas everybody!” I’m like screaming, “The cure to insecurity is self care.”

And I whip open the door and I’m like, “Oh baby, baby!” I’m waking up my wife, “The cure to insecurity is self care.” And she’s like, “What?” And I’m like, “The cure to insecurity is self care.” And she goes, “Sean, I take care of myself all the time, I’m still insecure. I disagree.” And she pulls the covers back up.

But you know when you’re on to something and the person you normally need the validation from doesn’t give it to you and you’re like, “You’re wrong this time.” And you keep…do you guys know what I’m talking about? So I was like marching out of that room like, “Ha ha! You’re wrong this time! You one million, me one today.”

Look, I’m very clear as a happily married man, that the best way to enjoy a relationship is to not need to be right, because being right is about your ego. And when you crave being right, you are actually hurting the people that you’re trying to be right with. Now I’m not saying don’t be accurate. You see the difference right. You can be accurate and not have to force your way into being right. You can say, “Okay, alright. I see that you just need some more evidence to delivered to you. I’ll come back when I have more. Do you have any questions about how to make a potato gun? Because I’ll come back in my sales copy and give you the bullet points about which glue to use on the pipe to make the potato gun.” And then they’re like, “Oh, I get it. That’s it.”

The same techniques you’re using in marketing you can use in life. When people hit you with opposition and they’re like, “No, you can’t do that.” Instead of being like, “Yes, I can!” No, don’t do that. You’re feeding into your own ego. Instead say, “Okay. Okay.” And love them in that moment. And love yourself in that moment. And go on to somebody who is willing to want to learn from you.

If you want to be a world thought leader you can’t get tied up trying to convince people who didn’t want to hear you in the first place. You know, the coast guard has a beautiful motto that’s just saved me from quitting being a speaker when I struggled. And I hope you use it in your life too. When the coast guard goes out on a stormy night to rescue a boat that has capsized, they bring their helicopter and they hover over the top of the boat. And they realize there’s more people in the water than there’s space in the helicopter, who do they save? Who would you save?

It’s a messed up question isn’t it? It’s a tough one. You know what their motto is, we can only save people who swim toward us. Write that down. I can only help those that swim toward me.

Do you know how to drive yourself nuts? Run into a burning building after somebody who’s running into a burning building screaming, “Help me, help me!” That’s how you go nuts. You will go nuts when you try to help people that do not want your help, but claim that they do. The moment you try to help somebody and they push you back and push you back, you have to say, “Look, you know what? I love you. I’m going to be over there, hopefully you’ll swim toward me at some point. If you don’t, this helicopter is leaving.”

I was exhausted with you. I was exhausted with my audience because I would come up here year after year after year, 22 years, and I would talk to people and I’d be like, “This, this, this, this.” And then people would be like, “Yeah, but. Yeah, but I don’t know.” And I’d be like, “Ugh, I’m such a failure. I’m such a loser. I haven’t convinced everybody on the planet that I can help them, that they can be helped.”

Raise your hand if you know what I’m talking about, trying to help people who didn’t want your help. Yeah, that’s the quickest way for you to drown. The quickest way for you to drown is try to help somebody that’s flailing around in the water, or that’s swimming away from you. When there’s all these people that are actually wanting to swim toward you. You know those 15 likes on that video of yours? They’re the ones swimming toward you.

So you’re chasing, “Oh, I want this……” These 15 people are swimming toward you, open your arms to them, love them, give them everything you can, send the elevator back down. Everything you know, by the time you die, I hope that the valuable things, you shared them all.

People ask me all the time, this stupid question. They say, “Sean, how many lives do you think you’ve changed?” One. And I struggle with that son of a bitch. For those that are a little slow, that would be me okay.

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