How to be successful...The best advice I got from Tom Bilyeu | Real Talk Ep 2

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YouTube Transcript: English (auto-generated)

00:00

hey i just got the phone with somebody

00:02

who sold their company for a billion

00:03

dollars you know what i said

00:06

this is the goal right so this is the

00:07

thing we’re aiming towards we’re trying

00:08

to go after something my average week is

00:11

93 hours it’s like dad i’m dumb okay

00:15

sure you’re not smart yet but now what

00:18

do you want to apply yourself to what do

00:19

you want to get good at

00:23

hey my name is russell brunson welcome

00:25

back to the channel all right so i’m

00:27

writing my fourth book right now and

00:28

it’s about the science of achievement

00:30

versus the art of fulfillment and um i’m

00:33

writing it having a lot of fun and then

00:34

i got to this point where i got stuck

00:36

i’m trying to figure out it’s a

00:37

framework for how we become

00:39

someone different right how does that

00:40

work how does it and the more i was

00:42

trying to get through like the sticking

00:44

points to figure out like how to how to

00:45

write this how to solve it how to how to

00:47

create something amazing um every time i

00:49

would research stuff i always kept

00:51

falling back into tom billy like

00:52

something he said on a podcast or quoted

00:54

over here or something he had done if

00:56

you don’t know tom uh he built the

00:57

company quest nutrition and he sold it

00:59

for a billion dollars they started

01:00

impact theory which is one of the most

01:01

prolific success brands on the internet

01:03

he also was competing with disney with

01:05

his new comic book company uh this was

01:06

the very first comic book they published

01:08

which is kind of cool and uh he’s always

01:10

in this process of trying to answer the

01:11

same question how do you become the

01:12

person you need to be to actually have

01:13

success so the question i asked tom was

01:16

when someone has a goal right they want

01:18

to go accomplish something but they get

01:20

stuck like they get stuck in and they

01:22

need to become someone different to

01:23

actually do that so what are the

01:24

different elements involved like there’s

01:26

identity and there’s rules and there’s

01:27

beliefs and there’s habits under teams

01:29

there’s all these different things so my

01:31

question was like are those things they

01:32

line up like do we first

01:34

do our identity and then our beliefs and

01:35

then our habits like is it linear or is

01:37

it different and so that’s what i wanted

01:39

to find out from him from his point of

01:40

view how they all kind of tied together

01:43

[Music]

01:45

i appreciate you jumping on and helping

01:47

me with this um oh for sure man um i’m

01:49

like in the middle writing a book and

01:51

it’s first time i’m writing a

01:52

non-marketing book and so i’ve been like

01:54

just going down this rabbit trail and

01:55

all these things and so many of the

01:57

rabbit shows bump into you and then you

01:59

like steer it this way in this way i’m

02:00

like oh my gosh and so i’m just trying

02:03

to like learn all this stuff and

02:04

understand it especially in your mind

02:06

which is fascinating the way you you

02:07

think about stuff it’s really cool

02:09

you probably know that but anyway

02:12

very kind well do you want me to jump in

02:14

and ask the questions i’m ready when

02:16

you’re ready okay so this is kind of the

02:19

way i read you probably can’t see royal

02:20

but this is like this is the goal right

02:22

so this is the thing we’re aiming

02:23

towards we’re trying to go after

02:24

something and like you said most people

02:25

start there and they try to create

02:26

habits to go get the gold they try these

02:28

things here but the real reality is

02:30

they’re not worthy to to get the goalie

02:32

because of who they are who they they

02:33

need to become someone different right

02:34

so it’s like who do they become

02:36

and then i was trying to tie like who

02:38

are they becoming i think that that’s

02:39

their identity right and inside of that

02:41

you’ve got your beliefs and your values

02:43

and after you figure that out then from

02:45

there you got like your rules your

02:46

habits and your teams that tie into that

02:48

does that make more sense or is that

02:49

still kind of

02:50

it does but it it is even more sort of

02:53

messy than that so you can if you think

02:56

of them almost as independent variables

02:58

and you can pull on any of the strings

03:00

right so

03:01

you could in fact if you said tom you

03:05

have to

03:06

uh my son is struggling and if you don’t

03:11

get him to be like an ultra badass in

03:14

six months i’m gonna shoot lisa in the

03:16

face then i would say okay cool so this

03:19

is a do or die situation i’m kidnapping

03:21

your son

03:22

i’m taking him to a desert island and

03:24

that desert island will be stocked

03:27

exclusively with

03:29

david goggins

03:31

couple marines from like or seals from

03:33

seal team six like just the baddest

03:36

on the planet the only belief

03:38

that matters is that if you put time and

03:41

attention into getting better at

03:42

something you will get better you don’t

03:44

have to be special you are a human the

03:47

human mind is designed to get better

03:50

with concentrated effort period

03:52

now once you believe that it’s like dad

03:55

i’m dumb okay sure you’re not smart yet

03:59

but now what do you want to apply

04:00

yourself to what do you want to get good

04:02

at right most people stop at i’m not

04:04

good at this thing okay sure but what do

04:07

you want to get good at because it is a

04:10

truth of the human animal that if you

04:12

apply time and energy to a skill you

04:14

will get better at it the quote that i

04:17

hold is this you can’t make a racehorse

04:21

out of a pig but you can make a really

04:23

fast pig

04:24

i think it is almost certainly true that

04:27

my life is the answer to the question

04:29

what does a fast pig look like

04:32

because

04:33

i’m not a racehorse

04:35

but i’m a really fast pig and

04:37

i’ve spent so much time and energy in

04:40

getting better in learning about what i

04:42

call the physics of being human just

04:44

what are the the realities of the human

04:46

mind because you’re having a biological

04:48

experience

04:50

that’s just

04:51

true and this is why because whenever i

04:53

tell my story so people are obviously

04:55

looking at me you know i’ve had

04:56

tremendous financial success they see me

04:58

up on stage i’m speaking and so

05:01

when i tell my story and i say oh my mom

05:04

thought i was going to fail when i went

05:05

to college my best friend thought i

05:06

would marshmallow my way through life my

05:09

father-in-law said no when i asked for

05:11

his blessing to marry his daughter they

05:12

all think oh man they’re so dumb they

05:14

couldn’t see it no no they had

05:16

accurately identified that that really

05:18

was where i was at that time like that

05:20

was all accurate for that moment now

05:23

what they couldn’t have predicted what

05:24

honestly even i couldn’t have predicted

05:26

is that there’s this thing called drive

05:28

when people talk about being hungry i

05:30

was ravenous that ability to maintain

05:35

that level of hunger in the face of

05:38

extraordinary success is my superpower

05:41

once you want something badly enough and

05:43

this is why being poor can be so

05:45

powerful poverty destroys 99.9 of the

05:48

people that it touches but the 0.1

05:50

percent that survive overshoot the moon

05:52

they go on to do the most insane because

05:55

they’re like i’m never going back to

05:57

that again i’m never being like that

05:58

again no way then when they

06:00

apply themselves to actually getting

06:01

better at something of course they do

06:03

because that’s what the human animal is

06:05

designed to do they just put so much

06:08

time and energy like i did the math my

06:10

average week is 93 hours that’s 93 hours

06:14

post success so that hunger to just get

06:18

better and to learn and have a voracious

06:20

appetite it’s like people can’t keep up

06:22

so even though i’m just a fast pig it’s

06:25

like i’m a fast pig in a whole lot of

06:27

areas and everything that i learn it

06:28

stacks it stacks it stacks it stacks

06:31

literally just off of the things that i

06:34

know and can talk about i can make a

06:37

hundred thousand dollars in an hour like

06:40

that’s so crazy and let alone

06:42

like i i’ve had a 25 million dollar day

06:45

before it gets so interesting

06:47

but getting people on the path is hard i

06:51

was

06:52

haunted by a movie called amadeus in

06:55

amadeus it was a real life character a

06:57

guy named solieri who was a contemporary

06:59

of amadeus mozart he lamented to god in

07:02

the film why did you make me just

07:04

talented enough to realize i’ll never be

07:07

as good as mozart and that was how i

07:09

felt i always felt like i was like just

07:12

smart enough to realize my friends were

07:14

always going to be smarter than me and

07:16

that they would go on to be successful

07:17

because they were smart but i wasn’t

07:19

smart like that and things like that

07:20

didn’t come easily to me that

07:22

lamentation carried me into my mid-20s

07:24

and it was getting so dire and i felt so

07:28

badly about myself and so hopeless i

07:30

started reading about the brain and i

07:32

wish i could remember what the insight

07:34

was that made me go there might be an

07:36

answer there came across this idea of

07:38

brain plasticity now this is the late

07:39

90s so brain plasticity was still being

07:42

debated is it real is it not real and i

07:44

thought oh when i think of the world as

07:46

if brain plasticity is real then i get

07:49

excited because that means i can get

07:51

better when i think of brain plasticity

07:53

as being something that ends when you’re

07:54

12 then i get very very sad and the

07:57

neurochemical change in me was so

07:59

profound and noticeable i decided just

08:01

to even if it was a lie i was going to

08:03

believe that i could get better and so

08:05

that was the why i called the only

08:07

belief that matters that ended up

08:08

dictating every step i made after that

08:10

the reason i put myself around people

08:13

that were going so hard was because i

08:15

believed that i could improve if i

08:17

didn’t believe i could improve and i

08:18

actually had a moment of crisis when i

08:21

was with them because they were so much

08:23

farther ahead than me in every aspect

08:25

they were

08:26

more muscular than i was they were

08:28

smarter than i was they were farther

08:30

ahead in business than i was and it just

08:32

like was just this unrelenting parade of

08:34

why i was a loser i thought okay well

08:37

hold on

08:38

if you believe you can get better

08:40

then you need to switch your mentality

08:42

because i i was thinking of leaving

08:45

because i’m like this is so miserable to

08:46

always be the worst if it’s true that

08:48

they’re the surest path to my success

08:51

which at the time it really really

08:52

seemed obvious that they were

08:54

then

08:56

i need to build my self-esteem around

08:58

something more useful than being smarter

09:00

than them because i’m not smarter than

09:02

them

09:03

and that gave me the insight to okay

09:06

think of yourself solely as the learner

09:09

and pride yourself on being the learner

09:11

so don’t pride yourself on being right

09:13

pride yourself on admitting you were

09:14

wrong faster than anyone else

09:16

and then putting the energy behind the

09:18

right idea and that changed my life that

09:21

that’s like the one moment that’s like i

09:22

remember where i was when i had the

09:24

realization it’s a demarcation point in

09:25

my life but ultimately it came from the

09:28

belief that brain plasticity was real

09:30

meaning if i put time and energy into

09:32

getting better i actually will get

09:33

better and so that was the thing that

09:36

lifted that hopelessness off my

09:38

shoulders it just became a question of

09:41

well do you want it badly enough to work

09:42

this hard yeah literally

09:45

okay a couple follow questions if you’re

09:47

real quick um so with your like

09:51

i’m like in the spot now where i want to

09:52

like start mapping out like what is my

09:54

identity like we’re actually right now

09:55

what are my beliefs what are my values

09:56

have you done that like do you do you

09:57

have like lists like these are these are

09:59

my beliefs my days my values

10:01

a belief is something that is true about

10:03

the world i can learn anything i set my

10:05

mind to without limitation but the world

10:07

not about yourself more so they can be

10:09

both some will be about you and some

10:11

will be about the world values are

10:14

specific to you my number one value is

10:17

my wife so it matters to me to

10:21

share a life with one person for all the

10:24

good and bad that that entails so if my

10:26

business collides with my marriage and

10:29

in in a meaningful way obviously when

10:30

you’re working 93 hours a week there’s

10:32

already a certain amount of compromise

10:34

but when it conflicts in a meaningful

10:36

way if we start to feel detached or if i

10:38

was going to miss something important by

10:40

traveling then i wouldn’t and i would

10:42

just i never have a hard time if lisa

10:44

says hey it’s important to me that you

10:46

be here for this thing and a huge

10:48

opportunity comes along i’d be like man

10:50

it’s easy to say no to the opportunity

10:52

that’s super important to me integrity

10:54

is important to me if you say you’re

10:55

going to do it do it being a hardcore

10:57

mother is important to me getting every

11:01

bit of my potential turned into actual

11:03

skill set is important to me being

11:06

fearless is important to me in in the

11:08

sense not that i won’t have fear that i

11:10

will rise in the face of fear that’s

11:12

important to me protecting my wife is

11:14

important to me if this is a belief or a

11:16

value odds are that it could be both and

11:18

so you just have to decide how you’re

11:20

going to express it in your life like

11:21

some of my beliefs are secretly rules so

11:25

it’s like ah this one would probably be

11:27

better offered up as a rule but some of

11:29

my rules are so like simplistic that i

11:31

didn’t want to put the two together so

11:33

when i have a rule that’s sort of

11:34

profound it makes its way as a belief so

11:37

for instance one should only ever do and

11:40

believe that which moves you towards

11:41

your goals now that’s really a rule

11:43

which is do and believe that which moves

11:45

you towards your goals which i live by

11:46

but it’s such a profound idea to orient

11:49

people around goals that i don’t want it

11:52

in the mix with something like i get out

11:53

of bed in 10 minutes or less right which

11:55

is a little less

11:57

sort of awe-inspiring uh very useful in

12:00

my life incredibly important but

12:03

it isn’t profound and then how would you

12:05

identify or how would you describe like

12:07

identity then like is that like

12:09

identity is literally a statement that

12:11

you say to yourself that carries a lot

12:13

of baggage it’s just a shorthand way for

12:15

you to remember who you are right when i

12:17

say i’m the learner that will come to my

12:20

rescue a million times somebody says

12:22

tom’s a and i’m like oh oh god

12:26

talk about hitting me where i have deep

12:28

insecurities right so but then i go ah

12:31

i’m the learner so i don’t need to be

12:33

brilliant now if i told myself the story

12:35

of tom is the smartest person that ever

12:37

lived and you point out how i’m a

12:38

and it’s a pretty convincing argument

12:40

that’s devastating because it takes away

12:42

my identity

12:45

i miss the next four hours just writing

12:46

out my identity beliefs and values to

12:48

make them actually tangible because this

12:49

and rules

12:50

i have them but i don’t think i’ve ever

12:52

thought enough through them to like

12:53

consciously be like oh these are the

12:55

things

12:57

it’s interesting

12:59

um okay two more pieces of my my chart

13:01

and i think i got everything i’m trying

13:03

to figure out so the next ones i had are

13:05

habits and routines i’d love to hear how

13:07

you think about those differently or

13:08

similarly i have a gut feeling that if i

13:11

really dug into them that i could begin

13:14

to

13:15

section them off and sort of give them

13:16

their own identity but i almost always

13:18

refer to them just as habits of routines

13:20

right so it’s those things that you do

13:23

habitually i have a habit of going to

13:25

the gym first thing in the morning i

13:26

have a habit of meditating you could

13:28

sort of put the things together into a

13:31

routine a few of those bricks so my

13:33

morning goes like this i don’t wake up

13:35

with an alarm i wake up whenever i wake

13:37

up i immediately put my gym clothes on i

13:40

put headphones on and before i walk out

13:42

of the room i am listening to something

13:44

that is on my two research list i’m

13:47

curious what time do you naturally wake

13:48

up typically so 4am is what i consider

13:52

normal i would be lying if i said that i

13:54

i routinely wake up i’d say 40 of the

13:58

time i wake up in the middle of the

14:00

night and so i have stuff that i start

14:02

doing so that it’s not wasted time

14:04

because seven hours for me is magically

14:06

delicious i feel 100

14:09

and uh yeah i can work all day at

14:11

absolute top

14:13

notch performance until i go to bed at

14:14

nine dude i appreciate your time on this

14:16

this is super helpful for me to kind of

14:18

understand

14:19

how your brain thinks and how all these

14:21

things all tie together and gets me

14:22

excited

14:23

for you at all oh my god at some point

14:26

i’m gonna hit you with so many funnel

14:28

questions

14:32

so yeah i’m super glad that we could

14:34

connect now because um that that will be

14:37

really helpful at some point in the near

14:38

future well brother thank you so much it

14:40

was wonderful to connect anytime let me

14:42

know how i can help awesome man thanks

14:44

so much

14:46

smart guy right okay so in summation

14:48

come back here um after we talk this is

14:50

kind of how i doodle it out i’m going to

14:51

go deep in the book but basically the

14:53

gist is you have a goal right you want

14:55

to go and accomplish something the

14:56

problem is at this point in life you’re

14:58

probably not worthy of that goal

14:59

otherwise you’d already have it and so

15:00

you have to become somebody different so

15:02

how do you become somebody different it

15:03

all comes down to identifying who what’s

15:05

your identity and shifting to an

15:06

identity of somebody who could actually

15:08

accomplish this you got to create

15:09

beliefs that are going to help you to

15:10

actually move you forward towards your

15:12

goal you set rules to help protect you

15:14

and keep you on the path of your vision

15:15

and you create values and you order the

15:17

values in a way that make sure you’re

15:19

doing the right things after you have

15:21

these things in place now you can go

15:22

back and set up your habits and your

15:23

teams and all the things you need to do

15:25

to be successful most people go from i

15:27

have a goal here’s the routines i got to

15:28

do to be able to hit it but they’re

15:29

missing the most important step which is

15:31

who do you have to become to actually be

15:32

able to get those goals and have that

15:34

success and so that’s where tom’s mind

15:36

is genius and we went deep on so all

15:38

right so i hope you enjoyed today’s

15:39

video the book is coming i’m not gonna

15:41

tell you the title yet i’m not gonna say

15:43

when

15:44

someday when i get it done it’ll be

15:46

there and you’ll hear about it um but

15:47

for right now please like and subscribe

15:49

down below that way you’ll know when the

15:50

new book comes also make sure you go

15:52

check out tom’s channel to get more

15:54

ideas from impact theory from his mind

15:56

and with that said appreciate you guys

15:57

watching and i’ll see you guys on the

15:59

next video

16:01

[Music]

16:17

[Applause]

16:17

[Music]

16:21

foreign

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